And everyone should get along
Okay children quiet down quiet down
Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr Shady
Children quiet down please
Mr Shady will be your new substitute
Good luck Mr Shady
Eminem
Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels
And he don't got a job cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
And wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock
When it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
And even if they escaped and they got the cops
The ladies would all be so afraid they would drop the charge
'Til one night Mrs Stacey went off the job
When she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr "
He grabbed S tace' by the legs as chopped it off her
And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
They never found her and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
And that's the story of Bob and his m*******a
And what it might do to you
Drugs are just bad mmm'kay
Eminem
My penis is the size of a peanut have you seen it
Speakin of peanuts you know what else is bad for squirrels
E*****y is the worst drug in the world
If someone ever offers it to you don't do it
Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid
And spinal fluid is final you won't get it back
So don't get attached it'll attack every bone in your back
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party he gets bold
And decides to try five when he's bribed by five guys
And peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
Suddenly he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
And his eyes roll back in his skull blblblblblb
He's on Donald's carpet layin horizontal barfin BLEH
And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
"Hey Adam Zach is a jackass look at him "
Cause they took it too so they think it's funny
So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
Meanwhile Zach's in a coma the action is over
And his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga
And that's the story of Zach the e*****y maniac
So don't even feed that to squirrels class cause it's bad for you
Drugs are just bad mmm'kay
Eminem
And last but not least one of the most humungous
Problems among young people today is fungus
It grows from cow manure they pick it out wipe it off
Bag it up and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
Yum yum Then you start to see some dumb stuff
And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em
And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops did I say magic mushrooms
See drugs are bad it's a common fact
But don't be me cause if you grow up and you go and O D
They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
And get a disguise and hide cause it'll be my fault
So don't do drugs and do exactly as I don't
Cause I'm bad for you
Drugs are just bad mmm'kay